Despite having their children’s best interests at heart, some parents may miss signs that kids are struggling with their divorce.
Grief is a normal response. However, if not addressed, it can have long-lasting effects. Understanding the difference between grief and trauma can ease fears and help parents provide the proper support.
What are signs that your child may be struggling?
Children may not openly show their struggles, even if their parents remain friendly after the divorce. Signs of grief can manifest in various ways, such as changes in behavior or physical symptoms.
Your child might seem numb or indifferent but still fantasize about you getting back together. They might have trouble sleeping, suffer from stomachaches or headaches and lack interest in activities they once enjoyed.
Watch for excessive irritability, withdrawal from social interactions and academic struggles. These signs indicate your child is processing their grief and needs your support to ensure it doesn’t develop into something more severe.
Steps parents can take
The first thing you can do is to listen and provide support. Your physical and emotional presence can make a significant difference. Here are ways to support them:
Don’t tell them how they should feel
Instead of trying to “fix” or punish your child, provide a safe space without judgments. Being there for your child helps them feel secure and reassures them that you respect their feelings.
Be a good listener
Encourage your child to share their thoughts and feelings, and don’t interrupt them. You can validate their feelings through nonverbal expressions like nodding or leaning in. This helps your child feel that they’re being heard.
Use other forms of communication
Creative activities, like drawings and using colors or characters, can help your child express their feelings. This approach allows them to process their grief, especially if they are unable to put their feelings into words.
Be affectionate and respectful
A hug or other physical touch can help your child regain a sense of calm. But always ensure that they are comfortable. Simply ask them, “Can I hug you?” rather than demanding one. This respectful approach can provide immense comfort and a sense of security.
By following these steps, you can protect your child’s best interests, help them navigate their grief successfully and reduce the harmful effects of divorce. Your presence and connection are vital in helping them feel supported, heard and understood. This support will aid in their healing process and help build their resilience for future challenges.